RESOLVE to Know More

This week is National Infertiliy Awareness Week (NIAW). NIAW is celebrating 25 years this year. What a great group/organization to get the word out there and to be the main source for support groups and resources. I am doing the Bloggers Unite Challenge to bring awareness to our situation and to get people talking about infertility since so many couples suffer in silence.

I resolve to learn more about the disease of infertility. It affects 1 in 8 couples. Most of these couples suffer in silence. 

If you haven't read my blog before, I suffer from Premature Ovarian Failure/Primary Ovarian Insufficiency, better known as POF/POI. Only 1% of women in the world have it which makes it hard to find a doctor that knows much about it. 5 - 10% of couples have spontaneous pregnancy. The only other option given by doctors is donor egg using IVF.

My husband and I first told our families of our infertility right away. For awhile we didn't talk about it to others. It was embarrassing to us and we didn't know anyone else who had the same issues. Infertility can be a very lonely world most of the time. Once we decided what path we wanted to take I began blogging about it. It was  is a great release for me. 

I have always said that if I could just help one person I feel that I have made a difference. 

We have chosen a more natural path to try and beat the odds that are just a number. We will never give up HOPE. 

I resolve to teach people what to say to couples struggling with infertility.

One of the things we have experienced many times along our journey is "just adopt". Just that simple, right?! Actually, no it isn't. There are many things that go in to adoption: Learn about the process, select an agency, complete a home study, search for a child, exchange information with child's agency, be selected for that child, meet and visit the child, receive a placement and finalize your adoption. It is not a simple process. And then you add in to that the emotional process of it. 

Infertile couples are aware that adoption is a choice. You don't need to tell them that. But, the thing that hurts when that is said is that you as a couple have to come to terms that you may never be able to have a child of your own. I don't know about you, but that is not an easy thing to come to. It has been one year and two months since I was diagnosed and we are still deciding what our next steps will be. It is not something that we take lightly either.

What you can do for an infertile couple is just be there for them. Talk about the hard things with them if they are willing to. If they aren't willing to just treat them as you normally would. Don't make every conversation about their lack to have children. Do remember them on holidays - they are especially hard. Most holiday's revolve around children. Also, remember them on Mother's/Father's Day. Even though they aren't parents yet they are grieving it so it is an extra hard holiday for them.

We are 1 in 8. 

Please click on these links to learn more:

• Basic understanding of the disease of infertility
• About NIAW

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

Wow, I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I have updated my blog. Life has been kind of crazy and busy lately. Which is a good thing because I haven't had the time to be down and sulk about my situation.

Not a whole lot has changed. I am still doing my daily routine. Taking herbs/supplements in the morning and evening. Still going to Mercier therapy every other week. I am taking a break from acupuncture. We discussed it and I am taking about 6 weeks off to give my body a break (per my acupuncturist). I have missed it. It is so relaxing to me, and each time I would go it would knock me out cold in to a deep sleep.

I got my thyroid results back after being on my medication for 8 weeks and everything has leveled off. Which is a good thing. I was hoping to have been able to lose some weight, no chance. I was reading through a few things about hypothyroidism that says a person that has it has to work 3 times harder than an average person in order to see results. Add full blown menopause on top of that and life is just perfect! That really bothers me, but I am going with the mentality of one day at a time. I do what I can.

I have been in a rut mentally and emotionally the past few weeks. I thought that spring would be a welcoming season for me. Not so much. Nothing like everything being reborn from the winter months to really slap you in the face. Every day on my drive home I see the new baby calves and foals. Just another reminder that everything can reproduce but me. I know in my mind that this is a horrible attitude to have, but some days you just have your moments.

I have been incredibly sad too. Any little thing just sends me in to a flood of tears. This is so odd to me because at the beginning of my journey I was really upset and then once I kept going things seemed to level off. I know it just takes a toll. I am approaching a year on my natural path and haven't seen any results at all from it. Not even one drop (pun intended!). That bothers me...A LOT! At the beginning, I read success story after success story which really boosted my confidence. I know my chances are slim. I get that. If I was a betting woman I wouldn't bet on something that had a 5% chance.

I see pregnancy announcements, gender reveal parties, baby showers and new babies being born all the time. And I want that so bad. My peers are all having children. These ARE my child bearing days. This is what my body is supposed to do and it isn't.

But, then there is faith and there is hope. So thankful that I have both of them. Always there for me to lean on.

I have always compared infertility to the stages of grieving (I need to do a post on that later). And it could not be more true. The only thing is that you are grieving something that you have never had. Just a small glimpse of what we could have. I have never wanted anything so bad in my entire life. I struggle with the why all the time too. Why is someone that is addicted to drugs able to have children and I am not? I don't think that I will ever have an answer to that question. I know that I have to be patient and believe...but it is still so hard. The thing about grieving infertility though is that it keeps going. I don't know that I will ever have closure on it.

I was flipping through the channels the other day and Cinderella was on. Funny how when you are a kid you memorize all the songs to Disney movies, but I never thought about the words until I heard them that day. I feel like I was meant to hear that at that moment. And it couldn't be more true...

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

I have been reading this each day, as a reminder that I just need to keep on believing and my wish will come true!