4th week of Merciér Therapy

Today was my 4th week or Merciér therapy.  I had one session on Tuesday and one session today, this was my 12th session.

When I signed up for this that was the agreement.  12 sessions - 3 to 4 times a week.  I think that I felt things would be different by this point.  Meaning I would have started my period.  I am disappointed that I haven't. Since I haven't started yet we are going to do one session each week until I do.  Part of the program is six additional massages after you have completed the 12 sessions.  So these will be part of the whole package.

But I can't short change things either.  A LOT has changed.  Even though I have not hit the final result that I wanted to yet there have been a lot of things that have changed.

I have zero scar tissue left that can be felt.  Just 4 weeks ago I thought that I didn't have a right ovary because it didn't come up on an ultrasound and couldn't be felt in my consultation and first session.  I have a lot more elasticity in my mid section.  Things feel much more open and free instead of tight and closed.

I am proud of myself for how far I have come since this diagnosis.  I have done a lot of things to change the results and just because I have yet to see those results change as a number or on a piece of paper I am at peace with what I have completed.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving day.  I am looking forward to traveling to Nebraska and spending the holidays with family.  It will also be  time to relax and let my mind take a break from infertility.  I will take my herbs and supplements with me and take those while we are out of town but  I will take a break from the wheat grass, castor oil packs and V steams.  It is just too much to travel with those things.

I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving and you get to spend time with your loved ones <3 I am so thankful and blessed!

I really love this quote...and I will live by that until my miracle happens.

The Dreaded Test

I have been contemplating on whether or not I should write about this.  But, when I started this blog I promised myself that I would document my ENTIRE journey.  And this is just part of it.

When I first stopped taking my birth control pills and didn't have a period I thought as everyone would that I may be pregnant.  I mean, it happens to people while they are on the pill, so surely it could happen right after I stopped.  During that time I always made sure to have a box of pregnancy tests handy.  I would take one every now and then since I hadn't had a period.  After I went to the doctor and got the news that they think I won't have children I quit putting myself through the agonizing pain of taking the tests.

Since I have been on my natural path it has always been in the back of my mind that I should take a test, but I haven't done it.  Mostly because I have always received a negative result so why would I want to keep reminding myself of it.

Well, today was that day.  I have been doing my fertility massages for three weeks.  There is no scar tissue left and my ovaries have become normal size again.  Since I haven't gotten my period yet, most girls do by this time, I thought I should just take a test and be pleasantly surprised.

And once again, that damn stick proved me wrong.  It is kind of crazy if you think about it, one stick, with one or two words on it can completely change your life.

I think all women who struggle with infertility grow to hate these things as much as I do.  It is such a let down.  Just when you think you know your body has changed, BAM it slaps you right back down.  You want to be excited about it but you know month after month it is going to say the same thing.  Today was no different.  I try to not let it bother me, and I have to say I do a pretty good job at it.  But sometimes it just gets to you.  For me mostly it is while I am driving and have plenty of time to myself and time to think.  I drive down the road with tears just streaming.  I am sure I get weird looks from other drivers but I don't care.  It is my time and if that is how I let it out, that is my thing.

I can't wait for the day that I can prove that stick wrong!

3rd week of Merciér Therapy and Shoutout

I completed my 3rd week of Merciér therapy on Thursday.  That was my 10th session.  I have two more left.

I have no scar tissue left and both of my ovaries are easily found so I have come a long way in the past 3 weeks.  It is not tender anywhere anymore either so it is like getting an hour and a half massage each day, what's not to like?!

Karen and I were hoping to have my cycle back by now but it hasn't happened.  This leaves me a little disappointed.  Although through this whole process my body has never done anything like anyone else's so I shouldn't expect it to now!  I know that it will come back.  Just have to be patient.

I am still taking my 22 herbs and supplements a day as well as drinking Pregnitude and wheat grass.  I am also drinking my 3 glasses of fertility tea a day.  I do my steam each day that I have Merciér therapy done and my castor oil packs as well.  I also started temping this week, in case you don't know what this is you use a basal thermometer and take your temperature by mouth before getting out of bed in the morning.  This makes you more aware of when you are ovulating.  I did this for two months in July and August and never ovulated based on my temperature (With POF you normally don't ovulate, your body thinks it is in menopause).  I am hoping with everything being opened up from the therapy we will have better luck this time.
  
I also wanted to give a little shout out to Karen.  She bravely did a radio interview about Merciér therapy and has allowed me to share it with everyone.  She truly is a blessing in my life!  If you have time you should listen to it, if not just read the article and share with anyone you may know.  Women keep this stuff a secret and it shouldn't be.  The more we talk about it the more we can help others.  (I am also mentioned in about the 47th minute of the interview).

http://intentionradio.com/2013/11/no-more-suffering-in-silence-karen-miller/?post_id=7774&search_category&search_label&author&no_redirect=true

Blown Away

We have been absolutely blown away the past couple of days.

I just wanted to document our journey and share with friends and family and have something to show our future children.  I was very anxious/nervous about sharing this blog on social media because I was afraid people would judge me or look down on me.  I was completely wrong.

I have had people send me messages that they have/or are struggling with infertility.  I even received a few messages from people I didn't even know!  Never in a million years did I think this would touch that many people.

It gives me such gratitude to know that I have helped people, and show them that they are not alone.  The problem with infertility is they say every 1 in 8 couples suffer from it and most people aren't willing to talk about it at all.   I want to change that.  There is nothing to be ashamed of, it is not your fault.

It is also so great for my soul when people tell me they went through the same struggles and either have a child of their own now or are currently pregnant.  It gives me such hope.  I don't believe for one minute that I am 29 years old and can never have children.  I am a firm believer that your body can heal itself, you just have to give it the right tools and BELIEVE that it will happen.

So, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that has taken the time to read this and share it.  And thank you for all the kind and sweet words and the prayers.  They have been very uplifting!

Time to Reflect

I decided to write this blog to document our lives through our struggle with infertility, specifically Premature Ovarian Failure.  I also thought it would be a good way to keep our family and friends updated with everything that is going on. Another reason I am writing this blog is so that I can show our future kids our journey.  The final reason and most important is that even if I can help one person through their struggle it will be worth it.  Infertility can be a very lonely world sometimes.  People don't like to talk about it.  My hope is that more people will take the natural approach as well.

The past couple of weeks I have been updating everything that has happened so far on our journey.

I haven't written much of my own personal thoughts, so here goes:

When I first received my diagnosis I was so upset.  I know that I am meant to be a mother.  I have always thought that for as long as I can remember.  I come from two very large families and I want that life.  I also married in to a wonderful family.  My husbands immediate family lives here but the rest of his family lives in Germany and we have visited twice and they are so welcoming to me even with the language barrier.

I have the best husband.  I have always known this, but the battle of infertility has made our marriage even stronger.  He has a heart of gold and would do anything and everything for me.  Through all of this he has been my rock.  He is my cheerleader and tells me what a great job I am doing and what I am sacrificing for our family. I am so thankful for him.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I am not sure what the reason for this is but if I look at the bigger picture I know that this too shall pass.

I believe that attitude is EVERYTHING.  You get a clean slate when you wake up each morning and it is your choice on how to live that day.  I choose to live my life positively.  Now, there are some days that aren't that easy.  Especially when everyone you see is pregnant (I swear once you are told that you can't have kids everyone is pregnant)!  It is also not easy to see everyone your age announcing their pregnancies and pictures of their kids but that is life.  Life isn't always fair.

(I have been living by this quote lately)

2nd week of Merciér Therapy

I made it through my 2nd week of the massage therapy.  I have really grown to love it and I look forward to going each day.

Karen and I talk the entire time of my massage, we have so much in common and share the same thoughts and ideas that it isn't even funny.  Sometimes I feel like she is my therapist too!

My last day of therapy for this week was Friday.  She mentioned that my ovaries when I started last week were very small, some of the smallest she had ever felt.  This wasn't a surprise to me because I had heard this from the doctors as well.

She gave me some great news that my ovaries were starting to feel much larger.  The left one especially.  The right one she is still able to find each time which is very promising to me.

Our goal is to get my cycle back and then once I have that back go from there in regards to getting pregnant.  I am also able to feel tingling/pain in that part of my abdomen which we both think of as a very good sign.

Great report at Acupuncture

I have still been continuing my acupuncture every other week.  Since the start of my Merciér therapy I have been looking forward to going back to acupuncture to see if there have been any changes.

When I arrived Friday morning I asked Dr L if she could re measure my frequencies to see if my readings looked better.  She was more than happy to do it.

I have to hold a metal piece that is attached to a machine in my right hand and then she uses the other part and places it on different parts of my hands and feet to measure the different meridians on my body.

Once completed we reviewed the last time I had my frequencies checked and I had MAJOR improvements specifically in the area of my abdomen. Once again great news, I am starting to like this.   I believe that this is due to everything working together but most importantly the Merciér therapy and specifically when I felt the tissue move the week before.

1st week of Merciér Therapy

My first day of Merciér therapy I was pretty anxious.  I wasn't exactly sure what to expect and what the pain level would be.

The first day was pretty painful on my abdomen area but we had a lot of scar tissue to work through.  She was able to find my left ovary right away but couldn't locate my right ovary.  There was a lot of blockage.

I was really sore when I woke up on Wednesday morning.  And I had to go back for another day of therapy which I wasn't looking forward to as I was sore from the day before.  I laid on the table and she began the treatment again.

While she was working on my right side we heard a noise and then I could feel tissue move underneath my skin and break apart.  It was the weirdest feeling.  Ever since I began all of this and all that I have been taking and doing I finally felt that this was meant to be.  I could actually feel the physical results.  Once the tissue moved she was able to locate my right ovary.  Success!!  I was so ecstatic.

The third massage that week she was able to go even deeper, and she was able to find both ovaries right away which was great news to me.  I was getting more used to the massages by now and was actually looking forward to them.

Fertility Tea and V Steam

One of the things that goes along with Merciér therapy is fertility tea and V steam.

My first day of my massage after I was finished Karen gave these to me and asked that I drink 2 - 3 glasses of tea a day and do the steam each day that I have the therapy completed.

Fertility Tea - the following herbs are used:

• Chasteberry - stimulates the hormone involved in ovulation and restores female hormonal balance
• Red Raspberry Leaf - has the ability to tone the uterus and muscles of the pelvic region
• Ladies Mantle - regulates the monthly menstrual cycle
• Nettle Leaf - contains a wide spectrum of vitamins and minerals that are crucial to good reproductive health - Nettle contains vitamins A, C, D, K, potassium, phosphorus, iron and sulfur.  Nettle also contains calcium, a mineral that affects a woman's ability to conceive and maintain pregnancy
• Peppermint - give the tea a delicious flavor and serves as a sexual stimulant
• Green Tea - is a powerful antioxidant that enhances reproductive health by repairing the oxidative damage that occurs naturally as the result of environmental toxins and aging

Vaginal Steams - this blend of specific herbs and steam will allow the pelvis and the reproductive organs to open up and be ready to receive on many levels.  V steam helps to release tension and relax pelvic floor muscles.  

• Sage - is used to help reduce hot flashes and dysmenorrhea - sage has a component that is estrogenic
• Comfrey Leaf - has an anti-prostaglandin property that reduces inflammation.  Several studies have shown that Comfrey can influence the production of sex steroid hormones which stimulate the ovaries.
• Lavender Flowers - have sedative properties and are good for calmin, anxiety and tension as well as relaxing spasms within the musculature
• Basil Leaf - helps to treat hormonally related fertility issues as well as easing discomforts of menopause and dysmenorrhea
• Oregano Leaf - is antibacterial and soothing
• Yarrow Leaf - expels toxins, is wound healing and can dispel blood clots.  Yarrow has been used to cease heavy bleeding and can also be used for amenorrhea.  This herb is a natural anti-inflammatory too.

This is a picture of the tea and the steam herbs.