Our Adoption Journey

We have been going through our adoption journey since this past October. I can't believe that it has already been a year, in some ways it has gone by so fast and others it is slower than molasses. We are still hopeful that by word of mouth we will get a match. Since it has been so slow we decided to take the next step in July and we signed up through the state for the foster to adopt program. In the state of Arkansas they don't have just straight adoption. You get placement through foster care and you have to have the child for 6 months before you are able to adopt.

We received our packet of paperwork in the mail after filling out an online application

More paperwork. We have become pros at filling it all out. We had previously done it privately through a case worker. Of course none of  the private translates to what has to be filled out for the state so we are starting from square one again.

When I talked to the Little Rock office she told me that from the time you turn your paperwork in it takes approximately 6 - 9 months for placement.

We filled everything out and mailed our packet in mid-July.

All the pamphlets and paperwork 

We went on vacation and had family in town, so the time passed pretty quickly. I followed back up with them again and they had sent everything off for our background checks.

When I spoke with the lady in Little Rock she told me that she wanted me to understand the ultimate goal of the state is to reunite children with their biological parents. I asked her what our odds were and she said 70% go back to their bio parents and only 30% get adopted. Not the greatest odds for us, but we'll take it. Whatever it takes for us to finally become parents.

We have now been assigned a case worker that is local. Our appointment for our fingerprints will be next week. And our in home consultation will be this Friday. We are hopeful that this will finally work out for us and we can reach our ultimate goal of becoming parents.

This quote is really ringing true for me lately. Adoption is the hardest thing that I have ever been through. That and infertility. The waiting process is hard, although we have been trying to adopt for the last year, it has been in our hearts to be parents since we very first met. Even as a child I always dreamed of being a mom. I am hoping this is getting us closer to our end goal and can't wait for that very special day. I do believe that we will soon be truly blessed!

HRT and Cycles

Wow, I can't believe the summer is almost over and it's been April since I last wrote a blog post. Way too long!

Back in March I got my first cycle, after having nothing since being diagnosed, this was a huge hope for us. I had some normal cycles (28 to 30 days) and then in May/June ended up having a menstrual cycle for 21 out of 30 days, yikes! After talking to my doctor he decided to take me off my bioidentical HRT to see what happened with my cycles after not taking the medication. They thought that I was possibly in remission from POF. Music to my ears.

I started HRT back in October, nothing happened until March...5 months. Based on that information they didn't think it was the HRT causing the cycles. The one thing about POF is that you can go in to remission. The doctor was hopeful that is what happened, my ovaries decided to wake back up and work. The only thing they warned me of is that we don't know for how long or if anything will work while it is happening. With this disease there are a lot of questions and a lot of unknowns. At the beginning I struggled with this a lot. I like to know what is going to happen, I am a planner and an organizer. There was a little sliver of hope that something might happen. There have been cases that women who are in remission have a mature egg that drops and pregnancy happens.

After quitting the pills in June, nothing came in July...nothing came in August. Failed pregnancy test and I was back to the doctor. We chatted about what it all meant, again so many unknowns. All I want is an answer. I had my blood work redone to test my hormones. They all came back the worst they have ever been...Blah!

	April 2015	August 2015
Estradiol	35.2 pg/mL	17.5 pg/mL
Progesterone	3.2 ng/mL	.9 ng/mL
FSH	58.4 mIu/mL	127.1 mIu/mL
LH	22.2 mlu/mL	47.5 mIu/mL

Estradiol goal is 50, Progesterone goal is 10, FSH is supposed to be under 10 and LH is supposed to be less than 7 in order to reach pregnancy. Definitely not where I wanted to be. But, it is out of my control. I understand that but it still doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

So, I went back on HRT starting in August.