Infertility Study Complete and Thyroid Labs

I finished my infertility study that I was a part of. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to talk about for the hour and a half sessions, but I was wrong. It really is crazy, a lot of times I feel like I haven't done that much or could be doing more with my diagnosis. But, when I look back in my book and on my blog I have really accomplished a lot. Granted I haven't achieved the end result I am looking for.

The first session was a "get to know me" part. What is my diagnosis? What does it mean? What have I done in terms of treatment, etc? That was the easy part. 

The second session was more about the emotional part of infertility. I speak to my husband and family members and friends about my infertility. I have always been very open about it, it is not something I am ashamed of because I now know that it is not my fault. I struggled with that statement a lot in the beginning. Was there something I could of done? What if I wouldn't have taken birth control for so long? But, that wasn't going to get me anywhere. I am a fixer by nature, when you have a problem, you fix it.  It is what it is and there is truly nothing I can do to change it. There were definitely some deep questions. And it took me back to a place that I haven't visited in awhile. I got choked up a couple of times. Not being able to have a child and grief go hand in hand for me. I have mostly happy days now, but somehow the grief part of it has a sneaky way of coming up on me. 

The third session was just a recap of  what we talked about the first two sessions. One of the questions that she asked me was "How does infertility define you?" That is not something that I have ever thought about so it was a hard question for me to answer. I wish I could say that I haven't let it define me or that it doesn't define me but that isn't true. It has changed the person that I am today. I have a lot thicker shell than I used to. I am a lot more sensitive to things than I used to be. It is constantly on my mind. I just know in my mind that all of this is for something else. Just have to be patient and see what that is. I know in my heart that one day we will be parents.

All in all I am really glad I did the study. It taught me a lot about myself and helped me get some emotions out that I wouldn't normally talk about.

I had my normal acupuncture appointment a couple of weeks ago. She suggested that I take the Barnes Thyroid Test again to see if any of my temperatures had changed. My average came back at 97.4 and it is supposed to be over 97.8 so I am still a little low.

I also went today and had my blood drawn for my follow up labs at my thyroid doctor. Hopefully, the medication that I have been on will have helped some. If not, we will just keep increasing the dosage until I get to the right amount.

I saw this quote the other day and I love it. I kind of have a thing for quotes :) Sometimes they are what gets me through the day!