HRT and Cycles

Wow, I can't believe the summer is almost over and it's been April since I last wrote a blog post. Way too long!

Back in March I got my first cycle, after having nothing since being diagnosed, this was a huge hope for us. I had some normal cycles (28 to 30 days) and then in May/June ended up having a menstrual cycle for 21 out of 30 days, yikes! After talking to my doctor he decided to take me off my bioidentical HRT to see what happened with my cycles after not taking the medication. They thought that I was possibly in remission from POF. Music to my ears.

I started HRT back in October, nothing happened until March...5 months. Based on that information they didn't think it was the HRT causing the cycles. The one thing about POF is that you can go in to remission. The doctor was hopeful that is what happened, my ovaries decided to wake back up and work. The only thing they warned me of is that we don't know for how long or if anything will work while it is happening. With this disease there are a lot of questions and a lot of unknowns. At the beginning I struggled with this a lot. I like to know what is going to happen, I am a planner and an organizer. There was a little sliver of hope that something might happen. There have been cases that women who are in remission have a mature egg that drops and pregnancy happens.

After quitting the pills in June, nothing came in July...nothing came in August. Failed pregnancy test and I was back to the doctor. We chatted about what it all meant, again so many unknowns. All I want is an answer. I had my blood work redone to test my hormones. They all came back the worst they have ever been...Blah!

	April 2015	August 2015
Estradiol	35.2 pg/mL	17.5 pg/mL
Progesterone	3.2 ng/mL	.9 ng/mL
FSH	58.4 mIu/mL	127.1 mIu/mL
LH	22.2 mlu/mL	47.5 mIu/mL

Estradiol goal is 50, Progesterone goal is 10, FSH is supposed to be under 10 and LH is supposed to be less than 7 in order to reach pregnancy. Definitely not where I wanted to be. But, it is out of my control. I understand that but it still doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

So, I went back on HRT starting in August.

Our Next Step

We have been taking a break from everything to do with infertility. Just taking the time to be a couple without the stress of everything. This is easier said than done though, especially with me. I take supplements in the morning and at night, as well as my thyroid medication and HRT. This is an everyday reminder to me of what I have.

Ever since being diagnosed we have fought with everything we have to be able to reverse this nasty disease. However, during the course of the last two years we have chatted about adoption a time or two. Always saying that we would come back to it when and if we are ready. 

When we were on our vacation in July at the beach we had a date night. That night after we got back to the condo we walked down to the beach and sat in some chairs and just talked. Talked about where we have been in regards to being childless, what we are currently doing and what the future looked like for both of us. We both know that we do not want to live our lives without kids. So, after about an hour we decided that we wanted to look in to adoption and see what it was all about, since neither of us know much about it, just the normal things you hear from people. The high cost of it and the long waits for child placement.

After arriving back home to our normal everyday routines, I had been looking online through the state's website. You can sign up through there and submit your application online. That starts the process, then you go through a home study, about 30 hours of classes as a couple and then you are open to get children. 

I wanted so badly to fill out the application and submit it, we were ready for the next step. All that was standing between us was that one little submit button. Before hitting it, we talked about it again and decided we just weren't ready. One thing about marriage is that there is an ebb and flow, you have to compromise, be on the same page. Especially about life altering decisions. So we waited. And thought more and more about it.

One thing that infertility will teach you is to be patient. And I have a feeling through the adoption process we will be learning more and more about patience.

We were sitting out on our deck one night, just chatting about life. And I brought up the whole adoption discussion again. We talked about the things that we are both scared of. We talked about the joy that it will bring us. 

I do believe the two additional months that we both waited and reflected made us even more ready for our journey ahead. 

Since then I had been reading a lot about the differences in state adoption and private adoption. State adoption you normally get older kids, you do have a chance of younger but not a big one. With private you are able to get an infant. 

That saying that "everything happens for a reason" is so true, especially in this case. I think that we would have rushed the thought and actions the two months prior so I am so glad we waited. 

That brings me to where we are today. We are going to adopt, preferably an infant, a child that we can raise with our own morals and values. A child that we can show them the value of family, growing up with the two great families that we are blessed to be a part of.

We are so excited about our future and what the coming months will hold for us. We are happy to announce that we have officially begun our journey to adopt!

Hormone Replacement Therapy - HRT

Since being diagnosed with Osteopenia, my doctors have stressed the importance of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Since my body is in premature menopause my estrogen is low which normally happens much later in life. With me being so young it is important that my bones are protected since they will be without it for much longer.

I am the type of person that likes to think things out. These are big decisions in my life, taking something for the rest of my life. I was on birth control for 12 years, I don't know for a fact if that had anything to do with my POF, but my body was being tricked each month by hormones that I wasn't actually producing myself. So, I have been thinking about what to do since the end of July.

Since this journey started I have taken a more natural approach, because that is what I believe in. I do not want to force something if it isn't going to happen on it's own naturally. But with saying that I do want to be able to live a long and healthy life the best I can.

My thyroid doctor offers bio-identical hormone replacement. The thyroid medication that I am taking, prescribed by him, is natural instead of synthetic as well.

Natural or bio-identical hormones are the exact same molecular form of the hormones that humans naturally make. They are made from a natural hormone in sweet potatoes or soy beans that is easily converted to natural human hormones.

Based on this information I knew this was the therapy for me.

I made an appointment and went in on Wednesday, 10/1. We discussed the different options, since I had already researched it some we were able to talk awhile about it. One thing that I love about Dr. O is that he takes the time to explain things to me. There is nothing more I don't like than a doctor not willing to talk to me and treat me like a number. He is the exact opposite of that.

I had my blood drawn to check my Estradiol and Progesterone. He also wanted to check my vitamin D, I have been taking this in supplement form as well as calcium and magnesium for my optimal bone health.

• Vitamin D, 25-Hydroxy came back as 86.3 ng/mL, this was in range
• Estradiol came back as 49.5 pg/mL, this should be in between 60 and 100
• Progesterone came back as .4 ng/mL, this should be in between 10 and 20

Not really alarming news to me, when I have had my estrogen and progesterone tested before they always came back low. So, I wasn't expecting any different.

After speaking with the doctor he went ahead and put two prescriptions for me, one for estradiol - .5 mg and one for progesterone - 100mg. We are starting out low and slow to see how my body reacts to it and then will increase the dosages if needed. 

That brings me to today. 

I went by the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions so I could start taking them. Since it is Friday I decided to just go through the drive thru so I could get home since we had plans for the night.

The lady grabs the two prescriptions, then gets on the speaker. She apologized first, I am guessing because she can see that I am younger, then she said I have to ask you a question in order to be able to give these to you. From the moment she said that, I already knew...

Are you pregnant? 

I swallowed hard and simply said no. This is such a heartbreaking thing for me to answer. Then I got to thinking, crap...I am going to have to answer this every time I am guessing. 

She apologized again, she was a very sweet lady. Stating that by law she has to ask the question. I get it, I understand...but that doesn't make it easier.

As she was sending them out, I asked her if there was a way they could put something on my file. She said no, there was a place to put if you ARE pregnant but there is no where for her to put if you aren't/can't become pregnant. Wonderful news! Oh the joys of infertility.

So, that is one set of prescriptions I will be sure my husband picks up!