The Back Story

My name is Nicole and my husband is Benji.  We have been together since 4/29/01.  Twelve years!  We were married in 2008 so we celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this year.

I have been a planner/organizer my entire life.  So when it came to having children I was the same way.  I would stop taking birth control (which I had been on for 12 years) and we would have a child.  Boy was I wrong.  Nothing in my life has ever prepared me for the roller coaster that my life was about to become.

I started out by going to my OBGYN for my yearly exam in February 2013.  I had stopped taking the pill in June 2012 but had a lot going on in my life for the rest of the year (2 out of the country vacations, changing jobs, quitting smoking, selling our house and moving in with my parents) so I blamed my absent period on stress.  While at the doctor we went through the normal questions.  She suggested that I may be pregnant since I hadn't had a period.  So she would do a urine test while I was there.  After the test was complete she came back in the room with a smile on her face saying 3 tests came back positive and 3 came back negative.  She would have me go get my blood tested just to be sure and one of two things would happen.  A: I would be pregnant B: if I wasn't pregnant she could put me on a pill to jump start things.  This was on a Friday, needless to say I was excited all weekend to get my results back.  I have been around children my whole entire life (my mom babysat kids as I was growing up so our house was always full and I volunteered at the local children's shelter for 5 years) so kids have always had a special place in my heart.

On Monday, while I was at work, I got a call from the nurse.  She told me that the test had come back negative (heartbreaking) and that they doctor had tested an FSH level that she thought of after I left.  That number had come back off the charts and she told me over the phone that they thought I had premature ovarian failure and would never have kids of my own.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.  Not only did I have no idea what that was but I was definitely not prepared for those words at all.  Not to mention that the nurse called me, I would think this would be a conversation that would be face to face.

After many tears we made an additional appointment that Friday (I was out of town on a business trip for the entire week) to speak with the doctor.  She told us that she didn't know much about the diagnosis, just that she was taught in medical school if you have that high of an FSH level this is what you have.  She would refer us to Tulsa Fertility Center and we could get our next steps there.

And so begins the journey...